When Religious Trauma Leads to Abusive Relationships

Religious trauma doesn’t just stay within the walls of the church—it often seeps into the way we view ourselves, others, and relationships. For many women, being raised in environments that devalue their abilities and strengths can create vulnerabilities that lead to unhealthy or abusive relationships, especially those with significant power differentials.

Religions that promote strict gender roles often teach women that their worth is tied to submission, service, and silence. These messages can instill deep-seated beliefs that their voice doesn’t matter, their boundaries aren’t important, or that they must endure mistreatment to prove their value. Over time, this conditioning makes it easier to fall into relationships where these harmful dynamics are reinforced—whether it’s with a partner, a boss, or even a community.

Power differentials in abusive relationships thrive on one party being conditioned to give up their power, and religious trauma often sets this stage. When women have been taught to question their intuition or to prioritize others’ needs over their own well-being, they can feel trapped in cycles of control and mistreatment.